Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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