Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
