Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
