5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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