what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
