Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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