i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
