bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
