Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
