Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
