I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
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Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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