First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
