She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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