Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
