I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
