physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize