New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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