bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
