Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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