every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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