Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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