how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
