i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize