Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
