im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i've created a new STD.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
