Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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