i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
