The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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