Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

I honestly don't know what to make of that.

(423): View more from Tennessee

A ham sandwich would be nice.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

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(406): View more from Montana

apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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(314): View more from Missouri

I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...

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(740): View more from Ohio

I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!

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(859): View more from Kentucky

There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.

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