even my farts smell like vagina
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
