I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
