Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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