I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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