If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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