Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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