i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize