R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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