Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
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I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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