Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
