I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
