This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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