turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize