the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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