I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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