Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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