Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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