Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
