i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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