I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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