I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
this will be a night to untag.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
