i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
