Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You took a bar mat shot.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
