i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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