so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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