Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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