she looked like the before picture.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
