I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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