Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
