Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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