i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
