is your mom at the bar?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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