k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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