I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
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The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
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You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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