So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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