Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
