Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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