So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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