He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
