Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
