i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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