It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sober January is a disaster.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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