Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need to calm my uterus...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
