Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
